mental illness

This tag is associated with 12 posts

A Hug in Time Saves 9

Reshared from my FB page earlier this week: Yesterday was World Mental Health Day. In 2009, I was diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder and I laughed. Within a single session of first meeting me, a Pine Rest therapist named it. After some thought and years of perspective looking at symptoms it fit. My first mania … Continue reading

Manic Massage

As the 86 degree sun slices into my skin, I feel that summer may turn ugly. Two years ago, I spent the season subjected to electro-convulsive therapy for a depression that refused to unhand me. I started to fear the late Spring and early Summer since it seemed to kick off something evil in me. … Continue reading

Punching Happiness

Normal people never question their happiness. If they have the energy to clean the house, call up all their friends and family, exercise for sixty minutes or more, and can still make it to work and school on top of all that with a smile, they call it a good day. Imagine doing that on … Continue reading

Loneliness is a Virtue

Loneliness is a Virtue mrrogers 11.22.13   I’m a dry stale bagel who longs for rich cream cheese to slather my sides.   Recently, I admitted myself to a psychiatric hospital for a mixed bipolar episode. I stayed a week within the confines of a locked facility among peers with similar and not so similar … Continue reading

A Question of When

Usually, I know when to go into the hospital. I’m drowning in tears which shoot off my face into tissue. I see things. I hear things. I’m extremely suicidal. Despair isn’t a word that even comes close to describing the state of mind that I find myself in. So, what if you can feel it … Continue reading

37 Degree Sunshine

I began the week with a very bad cold—the kind that keeps you in bed for at least one full day with cough medicine and cough drops taken regularly along with hot tea. I knew I was getting better this morning when I could drink a couple cups of mocha flavored coffee instead.   The … Continue reading

Grinding Black

For the past month, anxiety has visited me each morning bringing the fruits of sweaty palms, upset stomach, and trivial worries to my plate. As a result, I’ve been skipping breakfast since my appetite laid quiet within the confines of my gut. I struggle to write about the experience as it seems so fleeting and … Continue reading

A Dark Night for All

As a person who struggles with mental illness, I have dealt with suicidal thoughts and even made plans to carry out suicide. It’s been a lifelong issue for me that goes back to age 14. I can remember being profoundly depressed when I was young and I was quietly convinced that suicide was my only … Continue reading

Shooting Nightmares out of My Heart

“But new love only lasts so long, and then you crash back into the real people you are, and from as high as we were, it’s a very long fall, and we hit the ground with a thud.” ― Marya Hornbacher, Madness: A Bipolar Life What Marya Hornbacher describes is the descent from mania into … Continue reading

The Prism of Identity

If you prick my finger, will the blood be bipolar? When a strand of hair falls out, does the DNA scream manic depressive? Stepping out into the street, do my jeans and headband betray my diagnosis? After the dust of mania and depression have settled, thoughts tend to stray toward the collective identity as you … Continue reading

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Queen of the bad haircuts with coffee for blood.