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mental health

This tag is associated with 11 posts

A Hug in Time Saves 9

Reshared from my FB page earlier this week: Yesterday was World Mental Health Day. In 2009, I was diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder and I laughed. Within a single session of first meeting me, a Pine Rest therapist named it. After some thought and years of perspective looking at symptoms it fit. My first mania … Continue reading

Neck Deep Nightmare

Madness is hidden in depths of mind, not seated at Starbucks with a latte and laptop, inviting sweet situation. The raw and rough remains of what lies left instructs me to tear at tight clothes, take off restrictions, and wear a loose facade. We move like ghosts, cascading over sidewalks, unable to touch solid. If … Continue reading

Wilderness of Self

Morning claws at my intellect crying for sense, through freight train thoughts. If only I could reach the emergency brake.   Music and I won’t be friends today.  From bad club mixes to chill jazz, my mind would have none of it.  I felt raw and it scrubbed like an abrasive.  A giant steel wool … Continue reading

Manic Massage

As the 86 degree sun slices into my skin, I feel that summer may turn ugly. Two years ago, I spent the season subjected to electro-convulsive therapy for a depression that refused to unhand me. I started to fear the late Spring and early Summer since it seemed to kick off something evil in me. … Continue reading

Loneliness is a Virtue

Loneliness is a Virtue mrrogers 11.22.13   I’m a dry stale bagel who longs for rich cream cheese to slather my sides.   Recently, I admitted myself to a psychiatric hospital for a mixed bipolar episode. I stayed a week within the confines of a locked facility among peers with similar and not so similar … Continue reading

A Question of When

Usually, I know when to go into the hospital. I’m drowning in tears which shoot off my face into tissue. I see things. I hear things. I’m extremely suicidal. Despair isn’t a word that even comes close to describing the state of mind that I find myself in. So, what if you can feel it … Continue reading

37 Degree Sunshine

I began the week with a very bad cold—the kind that keeps you in bed for at least one full day with cough medicine and cough drops taken regularly along with hot tea. I knew I was getting better this morning when I could drink a couple cups of mocha flavored coffee instead.   The … Continue reading

Grinding Black

For the past month, anxiety has visited me each morning bringing the fruits of sweaty palms, upset stomach, and trivial worries to my plate. As a result, I’ve been skipping breakfast since my appetite laid quiet within the confines of my gut. I struggle to write about the experience as it seems so fleeting and … Continue reading

A Dark Night for All

As a person who struggles with mental illness, I have dealt with suicidal thoughts and even made plans to carry out suicide. It’s been a lifelong issue for me that goes back to age 14. I can remember being profoundly depressed when I was young and I was quietly convinced that suicide was my only … Continue reading

Shooting Nightmares out of My Heart

“But new love only lasts so long, and then you crash back into the real people you are, and from as high as we were, it’s a very long fall, and we hit the ground with a thud.” ― Marya Hornbacher, Madness: A Bipolar Life What Marya Hornbacher describes is the descent from mania into … Continue reading

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