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Crossing Hollow

I apologize for my absence on this blog as of late. I try to squeeze in two entries a month but that didn’t happen this month. My husband’s cancer treatment has taken over my life and I haven’t really felt much like writing.

Today, I fired up the tunes (Paramore, Orgy, Florence and the Macine, Mudvayne, Dead by Sunrise, and AWOLNATION) and attempted to write a poem, which I will share here with my dear readers.

 

Crossing Hollow

mrrogers

4.23.13

 

Falling from a hellacious high,

the manic depressive suffers so

bitterness of normal starves the

body, drains the veins, and floods

the brain with blank dreams.

Where once bright pretty explosions

of dear loving happy special lived,

a hollow grey rainbow sits stuffed

with orgasmic memories.

Every day reality is pounding rain

searching for reasons to go on

waiting for the electric grip to zap

the wrist and start up the brain.

 

This poem details a normal mood for someone with bipolar disorder. The idea is that it’s a basic letdown compared with the experience of mania in which everything seems like that exact part of a song you really love and want to play over and over again. I’ve only experienced mania three times in my life but it lasted for months when it did before crashing into depression. Currently, I’m living with a balanced normal mood which is bland with the basic ups and downs that the average person deals with.

Don’t get me wrong. I love that my condition is managed and under the control but to say that I miss the magic of viewing the world as extremely colorful and tingly. It’s hard to describe to someone who has never seen the world through that lens but I hope that this poem comes close.

About missyrogers

Lifelong Michigander, early 40s, craft addict, chihuahua collector, coffee drinker, recovering human being, bipolar I, electronic music lover, bullshit caller, 5' tall, my blood is organic, and I refuse to be anything else. I will write until I die.

Discussion

One thought on “Crossing Hollow

  1. Good poem, and interesting what you have to say, also. I guess I am very lucky to have colorful and tingly. I should try to appreciate it more.

    Posted by Debi | April 23, 2013, 9:42 pm

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